Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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