Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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