oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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