Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
