she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
