I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
