I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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