the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
