thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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