I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
