Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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