Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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