So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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