Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
