Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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