She said her name was "party"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
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One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
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60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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