You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
