So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
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