I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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