You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
