what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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