Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
