I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
