If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
