dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize