Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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