So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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