hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
