Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
