end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Oh god it's open bar.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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