he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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