No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
