So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
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I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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