Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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