We need to rekindle our bromance
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
