i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
