shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
