No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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