So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I touched a dick in church today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
