i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
