You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
