Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
