god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
