you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
