My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
