what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
