Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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