Umm I'm too high to move.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The beer is more important than you right now.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
