how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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