GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
