Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
