Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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