Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize